Recently, a friend showed me a Facebook post bashing moms who party too much. I won’t go into too much detail, but I’m sure you’ve seen similar posts show up in your news feed from time to time. There are some people whom I’ve unfriended or unfollowed because of their tendency to rant about stuff. I get it. You have an opinion. You’re angry about something. Rant away. When you start calling people out and slinging mud, you’re crossing a line. You’ve obviously drank too much haterade and you need to take a chill pill. Ever heard the saying “people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones”?… Quit slinging stones. You’re not perfect. I’m not perfect. We have no idea what is going on in another persons life that is causing them to act the way they’re acting, and that means we have no right to publicly call them out or bash them. We are just as bad, if not worse, then the person we are bashing when we stoop to publicly shaming people.
Whatever happened to “Love thy neighbor”? Whatever happened to it taking a village to raise a child?Why don’t we reach out to each other and lend a helping hand? Instead of judging one another, or tattling on each other, offer some assistance. I am appalled by how quick people are to call the authorities or get litigious. If you can take a minute to actually find out what’s going on, maybe there is something you can do to help. I’ve read several articles lately about women who have had the police called on them for their parenting. This woman was out grocery shopping with her husband and their autistic son when he threw a tantrum, and a bystander in the parking lot called the cops on them and loudly criticized their parenting. (1) This woman left her obstinate son in the car (for a few minutes, on a cool day) while she quickly ran an errand and some “good Samaritan” called the cops on her and she spent the next year of her life fighting the system. (2) Maybe the people calling the cops aren’t parents. Maybe they’ve never had to make these kinds of split second decisions when their nerves are shot and their patience is way past gone. There isn’t a manual that teaches you how to be a parent, nor is there some universal parenting class where you can go to learn everything there is to learn about parenting. Instead, there are laws that are there to ensure our childrens safety, and there are countless unwritten rules and speculative books that try to offer guidelines on what we should be doing and how we should be doing it. In the end, we all pretty much make this shit up as we go along. Most of our kids survive into adulthood relatively unharmed.
Why do we have to shame each other on social media? The person who wrote the aforementioned Facebook post is a mom. She loves her kids. I fail to understand why she thinks that she is the paragon of parenthood and that she somehow has the right to denigrate other mothers. What does she gain by slamming these so called party moms? Instead, wouldn’t it have been better to reach out to these people and see if there was something she could do to help? Maybe try to understand the situation better? If they don’t want her help, then surely shaming them on Facebook isn’t going to change their ways. Why spew vitriol to all your “friends” and make yourself out to be some kind of parenting guru?
I see these posts and these articles and sometimes I am utterly terrified of what people may be thinking about the way I parent my child. Are people judging me for not posting enough pictures of myself on facebook with my son? Are people judging me for posting too many pictures of my son on facebook? When I go out with my friends, are people making assumptions about where my child is? Are they judging me for going out instead of staying home and making memories with my precious son? Parenting is hard enough without having to worry about what all the other people in the world are thinking about you. Hell, life is hard enough without having to worry about that. I just wish people would stop drinking the haterade and start being kind to each other.